


underwater/drowning in a memory

by Miala



Category: Green Creek Series - T.J. Klune
Genre: F/F, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Halloween, He's a hulking giant and I love it, House Parties, I finished this like 2 days late and then didn't get around to posting it until today, M/M, Timber is very much like Dom from BOATK and you can't convince me otherwise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-19 14:01:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16535933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miala/pseuds/Miala
Summary: “It’s fine,” he says, a little too quickly. It’s really not fine, and Timber can sense that judging by the frown he sends his way.“Do you want to leave? I don’t mind.”Carter gives Jessie one last glance, memorising every detail of her face before turning his back to her. “It’s fine,” he says again. “I’m not going to let her ruin my evening.” He smiles up at Timber, watching as Timber’s eyes soften when they meet his. He can never stay mad when Carter’s around.-- Carter sees a familiar face at the Halloween party.





	underwater/drowning in a memory

**Author's Note:**

> Title from 'Back Again' by You Me At Six.
> 
> This was written for the lovely Fia as part of the Green Creek Discord Halloween Exchange!

Jessie is here.

 

She’s dressed as Harley Quinn again this year. Dual-coloured hotpants and fishnet stockings, white crop top and dip-dyed hair. His heart pangs at the nostalgia, remembering the dusty Joker suit stuffed at the bottom of his wardrobe, still stained with lipstick and the scent of her perfume. He really should throw it out.

 

Carter watches, a bitter taste in his mouth, as Catwoman slinks over and wraps her arms around Jessie’s neck, peppering her cheek with kisses. Jessie laughs. Her face lights up with the brightness of her smile, looking for once truly happy. Carter has never seen her smile like that. Never with him, at least. He wonders if she ever  _ was _ happy with him, or if the whole relationship was just one forced interaction after another. He tries not to let his emotions overwhelm him as he watches the Harley Quinn slide an arm around Catwoman’s waist, drawing her close into a deep kiss. His feelings are no longer wanted here.

 

She doesn’t spot him. Carter isn’t sure he wants her to.

 

“Carter? Are you ok?”

 

A deep voice from behind jolts him out of his thoughts, and he turns to see Timber’s unreadable expression. Carter shrinks under his gaze, knowing that it will only take a second for Timber to see straight through him, and sure enough Timber’s eyes settle somewhere behind him. The look of disgust on his face has Carter surging forward, taking one large hand into his own.

 

“It’s fine,” he says, a little too quickly. It’s really  _ not _ fine, and Timber can sense that judging by the frown he sends his way.

 

“Do you want to leave? I don’t mind.”

 

Carter gives Jessie one last glance, memorising every detail of her face before turning his back to her. “It’s fine,” he says again. “I’m not going to let her ruin my evening.” He smiles up at Timber, watching as Timber’s eyes soften when they meet his. He can never stay mad when Carter’s around.

 

“Ok,” he says finally, but there’s a look sent Carter’s way that tells him they’ll be talking about this later.

 

Carter tugs him into the crowd, pushing past people to get to the lounge. The smile stays fixed on his face, but the more time passes the more false it feels until he’s fighting to keep it together. She hasn’t changed a bit in the months since he last saw her, yet at the same time she’s couldn’t have been more different. The time away has been good for her. It’s as if none of the arguments had ever happened, like the last time they’d talked hadn’t sent her running off into the night crying. Sometimes he wishes he’d run after her back then, but where would they have been now? Still stuck in the same place, arguing over everything and nothing, fucking their feelings away until they’re both  _ numbnumbnumb _ .

It hadn’t been healthy. They’re both better off now where they are - little more than far off memories to each other.

 

Timber squeezes his hand and all thoughts of Jessie disappear. It’s like that with him, sometimes. Carter looks at him and the world just falls away, until there’s nothing left but the two of them. He’s so blessed to have Timber in his life, even if they’re only friends. He couldn’t ask for much more than that. Already he’s done so much for Carter - when his father had died he’d been there, large arms wrapped around him, holding his shaking body as he fell apart from the inside out. He’d been there all the way through Jessie, and then pieced him back together after the inevitable breakup. There have been many highs and lows of Carter’s college life, and all throughout Timber has been at his side since the first day they’d met in the library, smiling at each other through the gaps in the bookshelf. Carter can’t imagine a life without him.

 

“Are you sure you’re ok?” Timber asks when they reach the kitchen, handing him a drink. “It’s the first time you’ve seen her in a while.”

 

Carter sighs. There’s a time and a place for these conversations, and now is not one of those times, especially with the music making it hard to hear anything. But it gives an excuse for him to lean in close, Timber’s scent strong and familiar. “Breaking up was a good move for her, but also a good move for me,” he says. “I don’t really miss her that much. It’s just...a bit of a shock to see her here.”

 

Timber places a hand on his shoulder, and smiles down at him. Carter leans into the weight of it, focusing on the warmth of his fingers, wondering how those hands would feel running over his body. He shakes the thought away and tries to keep the disappointment of his face when Timber takes the hand away, changing the subject.

 

The night wears on.

 

They drink. They dance, albeit very badly and fuelled by alcohol. It’s always fun to watch Timber dance with his hulking height making every movement slow and uncoordinated. Carter’s own dancing isn’t all that great, and he ends up crashing into Timber at one point, sending them both to the floor in a tangle of limbs. Timber twists so he breaks their fall, hitting the floor with a grunt and Carter is so terrified that he’s hurt him, but then Timber grins and slaps Carter’s thigh in a signal to get off him.

 

“Heavy ass,” he jokes, letting Carter pull him up. Carter is about to make some snide retort, but the words die as soon as he opens his mouth because they’re  _ so close _ now. He struggles to regain his own composure, trying to find something to say, and Timber tilts his head in confusion, concern in his eyes.

 

“Do you wanna go somewhere quieter?” he ends up asking.

 

Timber brushes those large hands over his arms and Carter tries not to shiver. “Sure.”

 

Timber leads the way, smiling at the rest of their friends as they make their excuses. Carter hugs himself as they step into the bitter night, the door slamming shut behind them in the wind. They stand awkwardly on the porch for a moment. Timber takes one look at him and chuckles, shrugging off his coat.

 

“I thought I told you to bring a jacket,” he says, handing it to Carter.

 

Carter takes the coat reluctantly. “What about you?” he asks. They’re both dressed as cops, only now Timber has taken his coat off he’s left standing in just the t-shirt, and he doesn’t miss the occasional shiver no matter how much Timber tries to hide it.

 

Timber just smirks. “Just put on the damn coat and stop worrying about me, mother hen.”

 

Carter scoffs but obeys, slipping on the jacket. It’s warm and smells like Timber, dwarfing him entirely.

 

“You look good,” Timber says.

 

Carter flushes, tugging the jacket closer around him to hide his face. “Not too bad yourself,” he half-jokes. Timber  _ does _ look good. The shirt is slightly tight, and his pants hug his ass nicely. He’s even got a pair of handcuffs clipped to his belt that Carter’s been trying to ignore, although that hasn’t worked out too well for him so far.

 

Timber grins at the compliment. His expression softens after a moment. “Hey, Carter?” he asks, voice impossibly quiet.

 

“Yeah?”

 

It’s Timber’s turn to struggle for words. Carter straightens, and watches as he runs his hands through his hair. “I’ve been meaning to say something for a while now-”

 

“ _ Carter? _ ”

 

They both freeze. Jessie steps down onto the porch, looking just as shocked as they are, the Catwoman just behind her. Carter’s definitely seen her before, one of the girls on Jessie’s course last year. It’s hard to tell which one though because the mask covers half of her face. It might be Emma, or maybe Eve. He doesn’t really care either way.

 

“Hey Jessie,” he says. Timber steps closer to him, a movement that doesn’t go unnoticed, and Carter takes a moment to smile gratefully. “How are you?”

 

She hovers awkwardly. “I’m good, you?”

 

He nods. “Good.”

 

There’s a silence, where the four of them just stare at each other.

“Can we have a moment alone, please?” she asks softly. She’s addressing Timber and Catwoman, but her eyes don’t leave Carter. Catwoman nods and steps back inside, but Timber pushes in front of Carter, expression furious.

 

“ _ Listen _ ,” Timber hisses. “If you think after what you said to him that-”

 

“It’s ok, Timber,” Carter says, resting a hand on his arm. Timber stops immediately, staring at him as if it’s the first time they’ve seen each other before. “Let me talk to her. I’ll be fine, just go inside.”

 

He huffs in defeat, obviously wanting to argue but to Carter’s surprise Timber takes his hand instead, thumb brushing over his knuckles.

 

“You know where I’ll be if you need me,” Timber says, and walks back into the kitchen. Carter can see him at the window, watching over them but keeping an eye on the party to give them a bit of privacy. It makes him feel a little better to know someone’s looking out for him. A flash of black tells him Catwoman is lurking around too.

 

Jessie takes a step forward, fiddling with her baseball bat. She looks beautiful, but the pang of want has long since gone from Carter’s heart. There’s someone else occupying that space now, and it certainly isn’t her.

 

“Harley Quinn again?” Carter asks, trying to break the ice.

 

Jessie laughs softly. “Yeah, I wanted to try something else but Emma already chose Catwoman and I thought it only fitting to dig this back out again.”

 

“She should have gone with Poison Ivy.”

 

“I didn’t have the heart to ask her to change,” Jessie grins, and Carter gives an answering smile. Together they lean against the railing, staring out into the night. She looks over at him after a moment, unsure. “I’m sorry. About everything.”

 

He meets her gaze. “Me too.”

 

He would have thought those words were what she wanted to hear, but instead she looks troubled by this, shaking her head. “It’s not- I’ve been meaning to say that for...a while now, but everytime I saw you I just  _ couldn’t _ .” She faces forward again. Carter can see her fingers clenched around the wood, knuckles white. “We argued so much, but all that time, it was  _ me _ -”

 

“It was both of us,” Carter says. “I said things too. Things I regret.”

 

Jessie sighs and pushes away from the railing. “We were a mistake, Carter,” she says. Even though he agrees it hurts all the same to hear it from her mouth. “From the start we both knew it wasn’t working out yet we still kept it up. We spent so long trying to fix us when we could have been happier as friends.”

 

“Do you think we could be friends now?” he asks her.

 

Jessie shakes her head. He didn’t think so. “Look at us. Look how far we’ve come without each other. Honestly I think it would do more harm than good.”

 

She’s right. Of course she’s right. “Are you happy?” he asks her. “With Emma? You seem happy.”

 

“I am.” She looks over to the window, expression fond as Emma gives a slight wave. Behind her stands Timber, leaning against the counter with his arms folded and Carter’s heart warms at the sight of him. “I love her, so fucking much, Carter. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her.”

 

Carter hums. Timber raises an eyebrow at him, looking slightly thrown by the sudden attention. “I know the feeling.”

 

“You need to tell him,” Jessie says.

 

“It’ll ruin everything.”

 

“I thought so too, but look what happened.” She begins to walk away, pausing at the door. “If you wait too long, he’ll slip right between your fingers. I want to see you happy too, Carter.”

 

“I am happy,” he says.

 

“Yet you could be happier,” she says, and even he can’t argue with that. Jessie steps back into the kitchen, and Emma is at her side instantly. “Keep that in mind. I’ll see you around, Carter.”

 

And then she’s gone, swallowed up by the crowd.

 

But Timber is here, like he always is, deep voice asking if he’s ok. Carter thinks he is. Timber reaches out and tugs the jacket tighter around him, telling him he’ll catch a cold if he’s not careful, that he needs to take better care in future, and it hits Carter just how much he loves this man even if he can’t have him.

 

“You’re clucking,” Carter laughs.

 

Timber smacks his arm. “Sorry for caring.” He’s obviously joking, but there’s a serious undertone to his words. “What did she want?” he asks finally.

 

“To apologise.”

 

Timber’s face darkens. “And you’re forgiving her?”

 

Carter shrugs.

 

He slumps, fingers still tangled up in the jacket. “I don’t want you getting hurt again,” he says. “Last time....you should have seen yourself, Carter. It  _ scared _ me.”

 

Carter takes his hands, tugging on them until Timber looks at him. “We both said things that were unacceptable. We’ve addressed that issue. We’re moving on. That’s all this is. Not a friendship. Just an olive branch.”

  
Timber doesn’t look convinced. “This could all end in disaster, I hope you realise that.”

 

“You’re such a pessimist.”

 

“You’re such an idealist.”

 

They smirk at each other. Timber fusses with the jacket again, and this time Carter lets him without fuss.

 

“We’re friends, right? No matter what happens,” Timber says, completely out of the blue.

 

“Of course,” Carter says cautiously. Where is this heading?

 

“Do you trust me?”

 

“Yes.” There’s no hesitation in his response this time.

 

Timber bites his lip. He’s nervous, Carter realises. “Can I try something?”

 

Carter nods.

 

A hand, cupping his cheek. Carter’s eyes widen, heart racing as Timber leans in close, thumb brushing over his jaw, his scent overpowering. He stops just shy of kissing him, and Carter can feel his trembling breath on his skin.

 

“This ok?” Timber asks, voice shaking.

 

Carter tries to nod, but feels frozen between Timber’s large hands. Something in Timber wilts at this, scared away by the unresponsiveness. He starts to pull away, apology on his lips, so Carter grabs his wrist and stops him in his tracks.

 

“ _ Please _ ,” he chokes out.

 

Timber’s lips are on his in the next second, and Carter melts into the kiss. It’s everything he’s ever dreamed of and more - it feels  _ right _ and  _ good _ and  _ warm _ , like sliding into a hot bath, or coming home after a long time away. He whines, and Timber growls softly, arms falling possessively around his waist.

 

Carter pulls away after a moment, gasping for breath. “Jesus, Timber.” He laughs shakily and presses their foreheads together, eyes sliding shut. “Jesus.”

 

Timber leans into the touch. His arms are tight around him, and Carter has never felt so safe. “That was- yeah.”

 

They stay like that for a moment, revelling in the closeness. Carter can hardly believe this is real.

 

“You were trying to tell me. Before,” Carter says in sudden realisation.

 

Timber nods.

 

“How long?”

 

Timber tucks a stray hair behind his ear. “Since the beginning, Carter. It’s always been you.”


End file.
